Is it Jeff Flake or Flakey Jeff? Guest Contributor Pat McQueen Sets Us Straight

 

McQueen
McQueen

Guest contributor Pat McQueen has some thoughts to share with us regarding the recent Kavanaugh confirmation process and the role of some of the protesters.  Pat is a financial consultant, retired banker and former State of Michigan Banking Commissioner, although he still has lucid moments.  While his thoughts don’t conform to the usual satire we deal in, they still shed light on some of the shenanigans going on in political Washington.  Enjoy.

 

 

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts…

As You Like It…William Shakespeare

We were entertained by several “players” during the confirmation hearings.  Nominee Brett Kavanaugh and his sexual assault accuser Dr. Ford both gave impressive performances. One may find this hard to believe, but my favorite performance was that of Ana Marie Archila, the “entertainer” performing in and around the elevator occupied by Senator Jeff Flake on or about September 28. Ms. Archila’s best line was screaming, “Look at me!”

Listening to CNN and Fox News during the Kavanaugh and Ford performances alternately, both networks provided what I would consider fair reviews for the most part.

Ana_Maria_Twitter_400x400
Archila

When Ana Maria Archila gave her performance, however, I was listening to CNN. Archila’s passionate, and sometimes obnoxious, performance was reviewed in detail by CNN. The Archila reviews took a vastly different tone. CNN knew who Kavanaugh and Ford were. They had studied Ford for days and Kavanaugh for months. CNN had no idea who Archila was, yet they gave her an amazing amount of time, great deference and sympathy. My recollection is that CNN characterized Archila’s performance as powerful.

Confirmation Confrontation

CNN fell into a trap. The trap was set by MoveOn.org, the Center for Popular Democracy and Ms. Archila. As it turns out, Ms. Archila is very good at what she does, with an annual salary and bonus in excess of $175,000 per year as co-executive director of the latter organization. The Wall Street Journal, page A19, Monday, October 8 is my source.

Fake News CNNArchila is a paid activist that put on the performance of her life.
It shook Senator Flake and delayed and altered the confirmation process. CNN bought it hook, line and sinker, giving her instant credibility by providing her the stage, lots of time and a glowing reviews. Archila was either “fake news” reported by CNN or CNN was simply hoodwinked; your call.

If CNN had reported that Archila was a lobbyist would it have made a difference? Did CNN have an obligation to conduct any due diligence on Archila? Was CNN’s handling of the confrontation influenced by any biases or predispositions?

If I ran the NRA I would hire Archila. Maybe not; it is highly unlikely that such a riveting performance would be given any credibility by CNN on a pro-Second Amendment topic.

That is the problem.

Finally, if I were in charge of the U.S. Senate, I would not allow paid (or even unpaid) political activists unfettered access to members of the United States Senate during working hours. Flake ended up looking like a fool.

Unfortunately, CNN and its followers will continue to believe “Look at me!”

Ms. Archila, great acting! You should get an Oscar! You are vastly underpaid.

Protester Cry Baby

Confirmation – What Now?

Kissing babies 1

There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung
Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play
It’s easy
Nothing you can make that can’t be made
No one you can save that can’t be saved
Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you
All you need is love
There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known
Nothing you can see that isn’t shown
There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be
It’s easy
All you need is love, all you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you really need
…The Beatles

New Technology Leads to Identification of THE DEVIL

Flip Wilson 2
“The Devil Made Me Do It”

The Devil is well documented in human history.  He (some believe SHE) is mentioned numerous times in The Bible.  The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines him (or is it her?) as “the personal supreme spirit of evil”.  And you remember the television icon of the 60s and 70s, Flip Wilson, who personally testified to The Devil’s interference in his life.  He, of course, would never lie.  There is other irrefutable evidence as well.  Yes, the Devil is REAL and we know who he is.

 

HardWired News has now accessed amazing new technology that allows us to physically identify the actual Devil.  Our scientists have recently perfected a Spiritually Induced Quantum Field Fluctuation Detector (SIQFFD or “sig-fuh-fid” for short).  This innovation scans quantum field disturbances around a person caused by their spiritual self, otherwise invisible to the eye.  Our researches have scanned millions of conventional images with the new technology, and have positively identified the individual who, despite all appearances to the contrary, is actually the Devil.

Kavanaugh - Devil

 

As any observer can see, the Devil is actually Judge Brett Kavanaugh!  If the actual sig-fuh-fid scan is not enough, consider the following shocking facts about dirty-rotten Kavanaugh:

  • Drank beer in high school and college
  • Threw ice at a guy in a bar once
  • Took sides in a quarrel between roommates.
  • Can’t prove he didn’t assault someone at a teen beer party

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, the last one was denied by the Devil, can’t be corroborated by anyone including the people the complaining woman said were there; was flat-out denied under oath by a third party that the complaining woman said was a witness; was made by a democrat ideologue at the very end of a nomination process where Kavanaugh (did we mention he’s Republican?) was about to be recommended for the Supreme Court; wasn’t discovered in seven FBI background checks; and wasn’t brought up years before when he was overwhelmingly confirmed to the most important Federal appellate court in the country.  But, hey, if any one of those charges is true (especially drinking beer – who does that?!), it should be enough to disqualify him from public office and prove he is the Devil.  And we have plenty of other evidence of his evil: we just don’t want to talk about it right now.

Yes, the evidence is clear; Brett Kavanaugh is the Devil.  Now go out and protest or something.

What You Always Wanted to Know About Liberal Headlines – but were afraid to ask

ConfusedAre you like me, confused when national news events become convoluted headlines in the liberal press that bear little relationship to what actually happened?  Well, help is on the way.  HardWired News has performed an exhaustive scientific study of normal and liberal headlines, especially when they involve President Trump.  We’ve constructed this handy translator to help ordinary people navigate from one to the other (thanks to confidant CW for the idea):

Headlines JPG

Well, we think you get the picture.  Hopefully liberal headlines will now be more understandable to normal people with this handy translator.  In the meantime, poo on fake news and Keep America Great

Fake News CNN 4

We’re BAAAaaack with a Revengence

HardWired News Takes a Look at the Future

You remember we took a hiatus last October to come up for air.  The lunacy of the liberal left made us more than a little apoplectic, so like a whipped puppy we retreated under the bed for a while.  And while we won’t resume regular weekly articles, look for the occasional piece that strikes our fancy now and again.

Crystal Ball HWNThe reason for our return now was an amazing advance in technology that could not be ignored.  Through the efforts of renowned scientists laboring as an interactive team around the globe and using the latest advances in quantum computing, artificial intelligence, and nano-engineering, it is now possible to divine how things will be in the future.  Fortunately, HardWired News has gained exclusive rights to the technology and has been able to access the front page of The New York Times, the September 17, 2518 edition.  Here are a few headlines 500 years from now:

 

New-York-Times-Logo US Govt
Motto: “the only news allowed to be printed”

HEADLINES

September 17, 2518

HISTORIC POLITICAL ACCORD REACHED

Republican Party Officially Banned

Imprisoned Repubs to be Paroled – Agreement to Cease Further Executions

LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES CONSOLIDATE UNDER ANTIFA

Peace, Love, Kindness & Harmony to Prevail Under Penalty of Death

NEW LEVELS OF NATIONAL PROSPERITY REACHED

Food Stamps, Welfare, Unemployment, Disability Payments Extend to 97% of Population

NATIONAL DEBT TO BE ERASED IN 27th U.S. BANKRUPTCY

“I can’t believe these suckers keep buying our bonds” – President

WEALTHY COUNTRIES PROMISE AID TO U.S.

Puerto Rico, Mexico, Bangladesh Pledge Food, Medicine

COURT RULES COLLEGES DISCRIMINATE AGAINST THE STUPID

Universities Required to Remove Confusing Calculations from Science Courses

Dems Pledge Fair Education for All

NEW BRIDGES, DAMS COLLAPSING AT RECORD RATE

Designed by Latest Crop of Engineers – Reason a Mystery

CONVICTIONS FOR STEALING WIND SOAR

Worse Since All Fossil Fuels Were Banned

Bootleg Windmill Surge Stumps Officials at Department of Wishful Thinking & Energy Rationing

BUREAU OF SCARY PREDICTIONS SAYS WARMING TO WIPE OUT CIVILIZATION IN 10 YEARS

Fiftieth Consecutive Prediction

Officials Unable to Explain Deniers

SUPREME COURT SAYS ALL LOTTERY TICKET BUYERS TO RECEIVE SAME PAYOUT

Unfair Enrichment of Privileged Few Deemed Unconstitutional

“Drop in Lottery Ticket Sales a Mystery”: Secretary of Fair Economics

NATIONAL NETWORK OF MILLION COMFORT SHELTERS TO BE EXPANDED

Safe Havens for Liberals Traumatized by Opinions Different from Mainstream

School Comfort Counselor Per Student Ratio Reaches 1 for 1

©New York Times, all rights reserved

Visit us on Facebook, a branch of the U.S. Department of Acceptable Communications

 

Front Cover JPEG - Pestilence_edited-1

And as a bonus, if you’d like to read more satire about a dystopian future under a liberal regime, check out the novel Caine’s Pestilence at Amazon.com.  You won’t be disappointed.

HardWired News Takes a Hiatus

To every thing there is a season

and a time to every purpose under the heaven

                                                       …The Holy Bible

 

Circuit Board rose HW cropped
If it’s HardWired it must be RIGHT

Have you enjoyed HardWired News?  Hundreds of others have with many thousands of visits to our website to read our quirky articles during the three months since we started it.

We admit we’re right-leaning.  And we’re unconventional.  Our style is not to rant or rave about political issues, but to inform through humor, satire, or parody.  We’ve presented our beloved readers with faux New York Times articles lampooning the way they weaveNew-York-Times-Logo ideology into “news” reporting.  Then there were the put-ons of the pomposity of figures like Hillary Clinton or the inescapable bigotry of the liberals.  Remember the time we announced the Dr Evilspread of the deadly disease “Liberalitis,” or the fact that the ultimate victimizer and Austin Powers’ nemesis, Dr. Evil, had been identified and located on a mountaintop in Nevada?  We had as good a laugh writing it as hopefully you did reading it.

It’s mostly done with tongue-in-cheek with the intent of creating a smile in our divided world, while still making valid points to help more people understand and reflect upon the nuisances of the issues of the day.

But, as the lead-in Bible quote to this article suggests, there is a time and place for HWN Logo MaleRock Guitarist CROPPEDeverything and ours is drawing to an end, at least on a regular basis.  We approached this project as a short-term beta test to judge its appeal and gauge reader reaction.  Those goals have been accomplished.  We’ve attracted many hundreds of fans on the main website and our Facebook page, and have garnered a robust and loyal readership.  But it’s hard to overstate the time and effort involved in creating the regular stream of quality content many of you have come to enjoy, and so many of our points have now been made.

Goodbye baby FinalSo, for now, we are taking a hiatus and moving on to other projects, at least for a time.  You may still see the very occasional piece here when something really rings our bell, but the three-to-four articles weekly will sadly stop for the time being.

Thank you for reading, enjoying (some liberals gave us bloody hell), and commenting on HardWired News.  The site will still be here, and you can always contact us through the About page.  For now, know that we deeply value your loyal readership, and wish you a bittersweet Adieu until we meet again.

John Petersburg Harbor cropped
Goodbye for now

No Fake News at Yahoo, Right? Bahahahaha!

I clicked on the day’s political news at Yahoo this morning, and here’s what I found:

Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake issued a blistering critique of President Donald Trump in a speech on the Senate floor Tuesday, announcing that he will not seek re-election in 2018. That speech followed weeks of scathing public criticism from another outgoing Republican Senator, Tennessee’s Bob Corker. Arizona Sen. John McCain has also regularly spoken out against Trump.

Now, technically these things really happened.  But it’s the context that’s misleading.  Yahoo NewsFlake and Cork are both leaving the senate because they are too unpopular in their home states to get reelected, and the aging McCain, bitter over his failed presidential bids, is sick and also will not be reelected.  The story, at least the lead-in, makes it seem as if Republican leaders have turned on Donald Trump, when in effect it’s a handful of bitter people on their way (unwillingly) out.

Fusion GPS
Yahoo: “Nothing to see folks, move on”

But even that is not the main point.  Yesterday’s political news was an explosion, where it was revealed that the Clinton campaign actually paid for an operative to collude with Russia to falsely implicate then-candidate Trump in a series of preposterous allegations about sex and money in Russia.  I’m talking about the Fusion GPS report that has been discredited as a scam by just about everyone.  Then they gave it to the Obama-era FBI who actually began the now pervasive Trump-Russia probe based on a phony set-up by the Dems and Clinton.

My amazement at this turn of events is overwhelming.  But my point here is that YahooNews (motto: Fake News On Demand) ignores that and runs with a “Trump Dissed by Fellow Republicans” story instead.  It’s designed clearly as cover for the Dems.

Is it any wonder nearly two-thirds of all Americans believe the media news about Trump is either fake, or they aren’t quite sure yet?  Thanks, Yahoo, for proving the point.

Will Weird California Join the Secession Bandwagon?

California secession image

California is at it again.

You may have heard Catalonia, a region in northeast Spain where the tony resort city of Barcelona is located, wants to secede and become independent.  The French-speaking province of Quebec tried the same thing with Canada a few years earlier.  And the quirky Scots narrowly failed to vote independence from England and the British Empire.  The separatist sentiments continue to smolder in all those regions.

Experts say the quest for separation is due to differences from the rest of the country in a region’s culture, language, religion, ancestral origins, or relative prosperity.  Quebec, for instance, speaks French and has a more robust industrial base than other areas—all English speaking—of Canada.  The Catalonians also have a unique local language and are by and large wealthier than elsewhere in Spain.  And the Scots?  Well, they’re just Scots; there’s really no one else like them.

So how is California so different that it wants to be separate from the rest of America?  HardWired News has done an exhaustive scientific study and learned exactly why.

California differences JPEG copy

So there really are fundamental differences between California and authentic America.California Secession  To be clear, we are talking about the uber-left western regions such as LA, Santa Barbara, San Francisco, Berkeley (of course), San Jose (school’s still out on San Diego).  The northern-and-easternmost areas are quite normal and would likely remain American.

So should we let the over-the-moon, whacko liberal areas secede and become their own California nuclear explosioncountry?  It’s an interesting proposition.  Eventually, America could establish diplomatic relations and allow well-regulated tourism and trade between the countries.  Although we could never, ever—under any circumstances—allow them to acquire nuclear weapons!  It would be the same as giving your toddler scissors to run around with.

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Liberal Media Steps in Own Doo-doo: Attracts Disbelief

Pinochhio
Media Taking Lie-Detector Test

Is it any wonder?  A Politico poll found that a whopping 46% of people believe the media makes up negative stories about Donald Trump, with another 17% undecided.  Only about a third believe they don’t.

 

Let us give you a recent example among many of why.  This week the president called the mother of a U.S. soldier just killed in Niger supporting local anti-terrorist forces.  Not all presidents have made such personal calls.  During the telephone conversation, strident Democrat lawmaker Frederica Wilson, a member of the Trump-wilson-frederica_edited-1.jpghating Congressional Black Caucus, allegedly listened in on the call and later claimed to the media that the president had “disrespected” the fallen soldier’s memory and family by saying “he knew what he signed up for.”  The phrase has been used many times before by others to note the bravery of our fallen soldiers who knowingly and voluntarily went in harm’s way, suggesting their loss is all the more White House Chief of Staff General John Kelly delivers remarks during the daily news briefing at the White House in Washington.heroic for having accepted the awful risk.  White House Chief of Staff
and retired general John Kelly, himself a Gold Star father, said the military officer who called him after Kelly’s own son had been killed in combat said the same thing, and it was taken as a sincere tribute.

The surprising thing is not that Representative Wilson, a known Trump-basher, would make such a preposterous inference, but that the national media would run with it as tantamount to a political scandal, not implicating Wilson, but instead Trump.  It was the major story on the national broadcast, print, and cable news outlets, particularly so with NBC and CNN.  Obviously, Donald Trump was praising the young soldier’s selfless heroism in his personal outreach to the family.  But for the traditional news sources to position it as a Trump scandal is laughable.  Is it any wonder that most people simply don’t believe them anymore?

President Lincoln taught us that you can’t fool all the people all the time.  LincolnEveryday citizens aren’t stupid and can see through the hysterical attempts by the media to spin harmless events into anti-Trump tirades.  The notoriously left media is both incensed at the president’s unexpected and unwelcome thrashing of liberal darling Hillary Clinton and outraged at the charges of “fake news” by the president, which stings all the more because they are true.

The media is in a bed of their of making with most people either convinced of or still wavering as to their deceit.  For our money, it couldn’t be happening to a more deserving group of people.

Fake News CNN

Top Ten Ways to Know Hillary Clinton is Running for President in 2020

What Happened 2Hillary Clinton has been busy making public appearances ostensibly promoting her new book, What Happened, a list of pathetic excuses for her 2016 election loss to Donald Trump.  HardWired News opined that it was simply a money-play (How to Tell Hillary Clinton Loves Money…).  But some pundits claim her appearances sound more like political positioning for another run at the White House.

Recall that first she tested the waters unsuccessfully against the ultimate Democrat gore.jpgnominee Al “I invented the Internet” Gore in 2000, and again struck out as her party’s nominee in 2004 when John “Mr. Excitement” Kerry ran against Bush II.  Then in 2008 the self-proclaimed heir-apparent-to-greatness lost in a trouncing to unaccomplished newcomer Barack Obama.  Most famously, she took a woodshed beating from our current Commander-in-Chief, quirky Donald Trump in her 2016 failed attempt.

But now she is sounding candidate-like again, with posturing on national policy questions and assuming the role of denouncer of our sitting president.  So how can we really know if she is preparing for yet another run?

HardWired News has discovered the Top Ten Ways to know if Hilarity is planning another presidential run in 2020.  They are…

10  Publicly came out in support of “taking a knee” by NFL players during our National Anthem, another doofus move unpopular with mainstream voters just like her previous campaign positions

 9 Wrote a humiliating book, What Happened, trying to convince herself that she now knows how to fix what went wrong

 8 Sees that the ineffective Republicans, in control of Congress and the White House, are so hapless in trying to get anything done they couldn’t elect a dogcatcher in 2020

 7  Taking “Tweeting” lessons to out-Tweet the Tweeter-in-Chief

 6 Recently added twenty new pantsuits to her wardrobe

 5 Signed up for charm school

 4 Bought a fifty-five gallon drum of industrial strength No-Doze pills so she can stay awake long enough to campaign in the swing states she ignored and lost the last time

 weiner3 Mastering social media technology by commissioning Anthony Weiner, former husband of her closest advisor Huma Abedin, to teach her the fine art of Snap Chatting photos

 2 Had longtime pal Harvey Weinstein recruit ten thousand Hollywood extras to pack her events and make it look like she is popular in return for undisclosed favors

And the Number One Way to Know Hillary Clinton is Running Again

clinto-bill-tight-lipped.jpg

 1 Had husband Bill Clinton’s mouth and one other undisclosed aperture surgically sewn up so they can’t humiliate her again

Can’t wait to see Hillary where she rightfully belongs (insert your preferred destination here…)