UC Berkeley To Build “Resist” Training Center
Combination Federal/State Funds For Bayonet Facility
by Noj Mocsab, August 1, 2017 (NYT/AP).
The chancellor of the University of California at Berkeley announced today that a new bayonet training facility will be built on the main campus central quadrangle. The realistic simulation environment will include target “crash” type dummies like those used for testing cars, with images of prominent conservative and especially pro-Trump figures applied to their faces. Students and participating faculty will walk through an enclosed course where the targets pop up randomly. They are then to be bayoneted, upon which the participant will proceed to the next station and stab another conservative dummy.
Recent Berkeley campus visits by conservative speakers or other advocates have been met with mace, beatings, punches and stun grenades. “We will not allow these conservative haters to use our campus as a platform for their repugnant ideas,” said an anonymous student leader of the campus Tolerance & Kindness Movement. “We insist on kindness, tolerance, and love according to our definition, or we’ll beat your head in,” she added.
“The University takes pride in its record of activism in promoting peace, kindness, and tolerance,” said Chancellor Marion Joyless. She described the new bayoneting facility as a moderate first-step approach to training for enlightened activists. “Some thought we should capture actual conservatives in raids on backwater holdout counties such as Colusa or Kern that voted Trump and bring back live targets for use in training,” Joyless said. “While it would admittedly be more fun and draw more participation, I think the use of simulated conservatives, the dummies, is a more realistic start.”
The Trump administration’s efforts to block the use of federal funds for the bayonet training center have been ruled unconstitutional by the Ninth Circuit Court. Work is expected to be completed by the fall term.
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