The Cure for Electile Dysfunction

man shamed

Now that the election is over, are you feeling disappointed, humiliated, or electorally impotent?  Was your latest encounter with democracy a letdown for everyone?  Do the girls point and laugh at your inability to “get er’ done?”

Girl laughing

Buppie, you might just be suffering from the heartbreak of Electile Dysfunction.  It happens to millions when their candidate doesn’t drive it home because they cannot rise to the occasion.  Sufferers report feeling unmotivated, they lack their usual political mojo, and basically feel limp, exhausted, and beaten down.  Did we mention deflated?

Blue Pill

There are those who recommend the little Blue Pill for your condition, or in other words veering to the left as do those in the Blue States.  It’s argued that a walk on the wild-blue side will perk you up and change your perspective, leaving you feeling upright and politically a standup guy once again.

The work of our award-winning Research Team shows this to be an empty promise.  Any fleeting hopes of relief will prove quite temporary and unsatisfying.  Those who switch to the Blue Pill report nothing but a bad headache, no four-hour high, a face flushing from embarrassment, and more disillusionment without even a credible excuse to lean on.

With the Blue Wave, we can expect higher taxes and energy costs, with a return to dependence on foreign energy and the political subservience that involves.  Reimposed regulations and increased business income taxes will put a damper on hiring, and huge deficits to fund ineffective feel-good but accomplish-nothing legislation can only lead to the return of inflation and a bad stock market, affecting the financial wellbeing of just about all Americans.

carter-sucks

What to do?  Well, we survived Jimmy Carter (barely).  President Elect (so he says) Biden seems poised to wrest away Carter’s title of Worst President Ever.  But we can wait out Biden and, in the wake of the national disaster that will surely be his administration, replace him in four years with a Red Energy Drink that can undo the carnage, as Regan did in the aftermath of Jimmy.

man shirtless

So, let not your soul be troubled by Electile Dysfunction, Buppie.  Hunker down, brace for the worst, and stick to the Red Side.  America is stronger than Biden and better days are coming.  Stand proud, stiffen your resolve, and show your staying power.  Then once again you will be HARDwired (News, of course).

___________________________________________________

Consult your doctor before taking the Blue Pill of the left; make sure you are healthy enough to engage in politics; if you continue to experience dysfunctional leftwing policies for more than four years, turn right to the nearest emergency room, and ALWAYS read HardWired News before engaging in political activities

 

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