Trump Tweets Go PC

That Donald Trump!  Always putting his foot in his mouth, especially with his Tweets.  Just about everyone including his closest advisors wants him to clean up his act.

Trump wi Tweet Birds CROPPEDSo now El Presidente has hired a former Obama administration PR type to make sure everything he says is politically correct or “PC”, particularly on Twitter.  Below are some of the Tweets the president wrote and the sanitized version of his new correct-speak advisor.

Trum Tweets JPG

Now Donald Trump is sure to improve his presidential image and popularity, and win re-election in 2020.  We can all look forward to Making America Great (er…pretty good) Again!

 

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PC Term of the Day: “PRONOUN MISHAP”

Girl petulent
Perpetrator

In California (where else?), a first grade girl was called to the principal’s office for grilling and potential discipline (which she dodged in the end) for calling another child by his (or newly “her”) given first name.  It seems the second child had been a “boy” the prior year, and was “transitioning” to a girl in a gender switch.  The naughty little first grader called the gender-mobile child by the male name she had known him (now “her”) by for the prior years.  The offending girl was investigated for gender bullying and eventually cleared when the “pronoun mishap,” a term coined by the school, was found to be unintentional (WHEW! – close one).

I have absolutely nothing against transgender people, although I confess to finding it profoundly odd.  And I have sympathy for the discomfort they must experience in the process of changing genders.  I likewise have no patience for bullying people who are different from the majority, be it because of race, religion, disabilities, sexual orientation or any other status that can be used to arbitrarily define people.

But bending over backward to invent verbal offenses and to make differently appearing or abled persons permanent victims meriting extraordinary deference is preposterous.

Political Correctness has invaded our language.  Here is a quick guide, taken from several sources, to nasty words or phrases according to the PC police.

Offensive TermExplanation JPG I suppose taken to its logical conclusion, a person (male identification) must become a gender neutral perper, a woman (here we go again, male reference) should be a woperper, more simply a woper, or perhaps ideally a wowo.  Then again a human would have to be a huper or arguably a huperper.  And lest we forget, a female becomes a feperper or fewowo, while a wife (demeaning connotation) is a wowospouse.  But then must a manhole cover become perperhole cover or maybe even a huperhole cover?  But wait!  Is hole politically correct?  We must move to a huperperspace cover!  What’s a fellow (er…nonwowoperper) to do?  I’m getting more confused by the second.  It’s going to be dang difficult to learn this new language to keep the Political Correctness Police at bay!

Top Ten Ways of Knowing Trump is a Racist

CNN Anchor
CNN Trump Basher

President Donald Trump was wildly criticized following recent violence in Charlottesville for saying both sides of clashing demonstrators shared blame, and both contained some “good people.”  And after his media-bashing rally in Phoenix Tuesday night, CNN doubled down on the claims.  We followed him closely during the campaign and in the White House.  He never said anything racist and has made public statements, recently and going back many years, condemning racism, white supremacist groups and the like.  He speaks regularly about uniting America and viewing all of its people as equals, while his platform includes rebuilding inner cities and the like.

Yet the left, and particularly the national media, assume as a given that he is racist and courts white supremacists, despite all the contrary evidence.  In the face of this chorus, how can we really know if he is a racist?

Here are the Top Ten Ways to know that Trump is racist based on recent statements from public figures on the left:

10 For the love of God, he’s a WHITE man (Maxine Waters)

Sanders Crazy

9   All billionaire businessmen exploit minorities (Bernie Sanders)

8   He ran on law & order, and we all know who that targets (Al Sharpton)

7   The president wants to stop people from illegally sneaking across the southern border; c’mon (Nancy Pelosi)

6   He colluded with Russia to defeat Clinton; if he’s that unfair, he’s got to be racially unfair (Adam Schiff)

5   Why else would I want him assassinated? (Missouri Sen. Maria Chapelle-Nadal)Schumer talking

4   He’s a Republican president, so I’ve got to say anything to take him down (Chuck Schumer)

3   No person of color has hair like Trump’s, so it must be a fashion statement against minorities (Stephen Colbert)

2   95% of black people voted against him – do they know something? (Rachel Maddow)

Fake News CNN 4

And the Number One Reason we know Trump is a racist…

1   OK, he probably really isn’t, but we hate him so much for calling out our fake news (Jake Tapper)

 

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How to Know if Trump Colluded with Russia

Russian American FlagsHave you wondered about rumored election collusion between Donald Trump and Russia (HWN: Aug. 5) and how in the world we can know if it’s true?  Well, the HardWired News staff of political and social scientists has been working on the problem.  Here is their Top Ten List of Ways We’ll Know if Trump Colluded with the Russians:

Top Ten Ways to Know if Trump Colluded with Russia

10 Borscht & vodka replace hotdogs and beer at ML baseball games

Cossack dancer Cropped 9 Trump and Putin caught Cossack dancing in the oval office

8 U.S. Army issued Kalashnikov rifles

7 Former Soviet foreign minister Sergey Lavrov named Trump’s White House chief of staff

6 U.S. Constitution is amended to make Russian Orthodox the official U.S. religion

5 Carnegie Hall becomes the formal home of the Bolshoi Ballet

Melania-Trump Cropped
Czarina

4 Official title of the American First Lady changed to “Czarina”

3 In Washington DC approved attire for women at State events includes babushkas and galoshesRussian Dome CROPPED

2 Colorful onion-shaped lúkovichnaya glavá dome added to the top of the Capitol

And the Number One way we can tell if Trump has colluded with the Russians:

1 Sen. Schumer, Rep. Schiff and Rep. Pelosi are sent to an arctic-Alaska work gulag until they publicly confess their crimes against the State

Why Journalists Bash Trump Now Revealed!

jake-tapper-halpert-face-1476904566-compressedEveryone realizes that most journalists routinely denigrate President Donald Trump, negatively spinning everything from handshakes with foreign leaders to his business dealings, while ignoring or trashing his accomplishments.

Polls

Well, The Gallop Polls organization recently conducted an extensive, scientifically sound survey of mainstream journalists regarding their reporting on Donald Trump.  These are the top ten reasons they gave for the tone of their coverage of him:

 

 

Top Ten Reasons Journalists Bash Trump

10 It feels so good

9  Increases ratings

8  He’s probably doing bad things, even if I can’t prove it

7  If I don’t stand up to this moron, who’s going to

6  Win awards from other biased journalism organizations

5  Be perceived as courageous

4  People who don’t believe as I do are evil, especially Trump

3  It’s no fun pretending to be unbiased anymore – let it all hang out!

2  Getting even for his Tweets about Fake News

And the Number One Reason journalists bash Trump:

1  I’m just so really, really pissed he won

Thank goodness we FINALLY have a rational explanation for our mainstream news coverage!

Hillary Clinton’s Top Ten Reasons for Losing the Election

crazy-hillaryRemember when Hillary Clinton was going around giving speeches and appearing on TV, telling everyone why she lost and who was to blame (certainly not HER).  Well, Hardwired News research department has analyzed all of her public statements and identified the top ten reasons Hillary Clinton gave for losing the election.  Here you go:

Hillary Excuses 2

Top Ten Reasons Hillary Actually Gave for Losing the Election: 

10 The Russians were supposed to help ME, dammit 

9  That pink pantsuit made my a** look fat 

8  Bill’s drooling, stammering and slack-jawed leering on the trail were a distraction (should have divorced him 20 years ago) 

7  The polls were wrong, at least the ones I believed 

6  Staff forgot to tell me I had to appeal to actual mainstream voters 

5  Too tired from fundraisers to campaign in swing states 

4  Federal Election Commission unfairly and illegally allowed my lifetime of lying, scamming, and money grubbing to be used against me

3  Vote rigging was botched allowing actual election returns to be used 

2  Did I mention the outrageous persecution over my secret server and illegally deleted e-mails 

And the Number One Reason why Hillary Clinton lost the election:

1  Okay, okay—voters actually preferred whacky Donald Trump to me

At last we know what the heck really went wrong!

Political Translator

Are you like me, confused by the political rhetoric, where one politician says something and another characterizes it in a completely different way?  Well, Prof. I.M. Gutenschmartz, noted linguist and semanticist at the Universitat ob Innsbruck in Austria, has come up with this handy political translator guide: check it out

Political Translator

When Republicans say…                               Democrats translate

Illegal alien                                                     All immigrants

Conservative                                                   Hater

Support police                                                Black lives don’t matter

Gang members                                               People of color

Law & order                                                    Target minorities

Enforce immigration law                            Break up families

Climate claims skepticism                          Roller coaster to hell

Keep America safe                                         Persecute Muslims

Sabotage                                                            RESIST

2nd Amendment                                             Foster gun violence

Radical Islamic Terrorist                             Refugee

Across-the-board tax cuts                            Tax cuts for the wealthy

Unsubstantiated accusation                        Guilty

Speculative conspiracy theory                   Smoking gun

Health care reform                                        Kill people

Free speech                                                      Hate speech

Election victory                                               Stolen, Russian conspiracy

Trump Tweets                                                 Lunacy

Trump allies                                                    Conspirators, criminals

Donald Trump                                                Evil

At LAST we can understand what the ^&*#@!@ politicians are saying!