Will Weird California Join the Secession Bandwagon?

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California is at it again.

You may have heard Catalonia, a region in northeast Spain where the tony resort city of Barcelona is located, wants to secede and become independent.  The French-speaking province of Quebec tried the same thing with Canada a few years earlier.  And the quirky Scots narrowly failed to vote independence from England and the British Empire.  The separatist sentiments continue to smolder in all those regions.

Experts say the quest for separation is due to differences from the rest of the country in a region’s culture, language, religion, ancestral origins, or relative prosperity.  Quebec, for instance, speaks French and has a more robust industrial base than other areas—all English speaking—of Canada.  The Catalonians also have a unique local language and are by and large wealthier than elsewhere in Spain.  And the Scots?  Well, they’re just Scots; there’s really no one else like them.

So how is California so different that it wants to be separate from the rest of America?  HardWired News has done an exhaustive scientific study and learned exactly why.

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So there really are fundamental differences between California and authentic America.California Secession  To be clear, we are talking about the uber-left western regions such as LA, Santa Barbara, San Francisco, Berkeley (of course), San Jose (school’s still out on San Diego).  The northern-and-easternmost areas are quite normal and would likely remain American.

So should we let the over-the-moon, whacko liberal areas secede and become their own California nuclear explosioncountry?  It’s an interesting proposition.  Eventually, America could establish diplomatic relations and allow well-regulated tourism and trade between the countries.  Although we could never, ever—under any circumstances—allow them to acquire nuclear weapons!  It would be the same as giving your toddler scissors to run around with.

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Top Ten Things Trump Will Do if California Secedes

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Maybe it’s sadly just human nature to dislike people “different” from us.  Remember the 90s, when the Hutu tribal people of Rwanda slaughtered a million Tutsi people because…well, they weren’t Hutus?  Or the Serbs’ war on Bosnians.  How about book burning in Nazi Germany, where not only people but ideas were rounded up and destroyed, in the pursuit of a purified Aryan nation.

Like you, I’d prefer to believe civilized societies have progressed beyond that kind of vitriolic idiocy.  America, after all, is a mixing pot, a nation of free speech and ideas where differences are not only tolerated but embraced.  Peace, love, kindness and tolerance, the mantra arguably of the progressive left.

Only…not in uberliberal California, the land of plenty where dudes and dudettes can “chill” year-’round in the warm sunshine and invigorating ocean spray.  Where self indulgence, materialism and instant gratification have been elevated to the status of religion.  At the University of California at Berkeley, people with different ideas—political conservatives invited to the campus to speak—are met not with dissent, but with mace, clubs, and fiery riots.  “Keep the haters out!” they scream, backing it up with sticks and stones, the sole reason apparently because the conservatives, the “haters”, simply don’t think like them.  All done in the name of peace, tolerance, inclusiveness and love.

Of course we all know conservatives—Reagan, Bush, Eisenhower—aren’t haters.  They simply see a different path to national well being than do the liberals.  But like the Hutus, Nazis and Serbs of yesterday, Californians don’t see it that way.  And now our West Coast cousins have had a bellyful of us all.  A move is underfoot in California to secede from the Union, from the United States of America.  It’s called Calexit, a clumsy takeoff of “Brexit” where Britain voted to leave the European Union.  Now many of us would say “so what,” no harm—no foul.  Don’t let the door hit you in the rear on your way out.  In fact, an ingenious man has now started a business to help conservatives escape from La-La Land and relocate in sane and safe Texas.

But President Trump, always a step ahead, has developed a strategy for dealing with Calexit.  And here are his Top Ten strategies if California secedes:

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It’s great to know America is prepared for any eventuality!