What You Always Wanted to Know About Liberal Headlines – but were afraid to ask

ConfusedAre you like me, confused when national news events become convoluted headlines in the liberal press that bear little relationship to what actually happened?  Well, help is on the way.  HardWired News has performed an exhaustive scientific study of normal and liberal headlines, especially when they involve President Trump.  We’ve constructed this handy translator to help ordinary people navigate from one to the other (thanks to confidant CW for the idea):

Headlines JPG

Well, we think you get the picture.  Hopefully liberal headlines will now be more understandable to normal people with this handy translator.  In the meantime, poo on fake news and Keep America Great

Fake News CNN 4

No Fake News at Yahoo, Right? Bahahahaha!

I clicked on the day’s political news at Yahoo this morning, and here’s what I found:

Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake issued a blistering critique of President Donald Trump in a speech on the Senate floor Tuesday, announcing that he will not seek re-election in 2018. That speech followed weeks of scathing public criticism from another outgoing Republican Senator, Tennessee’s Bob Corker. Arizona Sen. John McCain has also regularly spoken out against Trump.

Now, technically these things really happened.  But it’s the context that’s misleading.  Yahoo NewsFlake and Cork are both leaving the senate because they are too unpopular in their home states to get reelected, and the aging McCain, bitter over his failed presidential bids, is sick and also will not be reelected.  The story, at least the lead-in, makes it seem as if Republican leaders have turned on Donald Trump, when in effect it’s a handful of bitter people on their way (unwillingly) out.

Fusion GPS
Yahoo: “Nothing to see folks, move on”

But even that is not the main point.  Yesterday’s political news was an explosion, where it was revealed that the Clinton campaign actually paid for an operative to collude with Russia to falsely implicate then-candidate Trump in a series of preposterous allegations about sex and money in Russia.  I’m talking about the Fusion GPS report that has been discredited as a scam by just about everyone.  Then they gave it to the Obama-era FBI who actually began the now pervasive Trump-Russia probe based on a phony set-up by the Dems and Clinton.

My amazement at this turn of events is overwhelming.  But my point here is that YahooNews (motto: Fake News On Demand) ignores that and runs with a “Trump Dissed by Fellow Republicans” story instead.  It’s designed clearly as cover for the Dems.

Is it any wonder nearly two-thirds of all Americans believe the media news about Trump is either fake, or they aren’t quite sure yet?  Thanks, Yahoo, for proving the point.

Liberal Media Steps in Own Doo-doo: Attracts Disbelief

Pinochhio
Media Taking Lie-Detector Test

Is it any wonder?  A Politico poll found that a whopping 46% of people believe the media makes up negative stories about Donald Trump, with another 17% undecided.  Only about a third believe they don’t.

 

Let us give you a recent example among many of why.  This week the president called the mother of a U.S. soldier just killed in Niger supporting local anti-terrorist forces.  Not all presidents have made such personal calls.  During the telephone conversation, strident Democrat lawmaker Frederica Wilson, a member of the Trump-wilson-frederica_edited-1.jpghating Congressional Black Caucus, allegedly listened in on the call and later claimed to the media that the president had “disrespected” the fallen soldier’s memory and family by saying “he knew what he signed up for.”  The phrase has been used many times before by others to note the bravery of our fallen soldiers who knowingly and voluntarily went in harm’s way, suggesting their loss is all the more White House Chief of Staff General John Kelly delivers remarks during the daily news briefing at the White House in Washington.heroic for having accepted the awful risk.  White House Chief of Staff
and retired general John Kelly, himself a Gold Star father, said the military officer who called him after Kelly’s own son had been killed in combat said the same thing, and it was taken as a sincere tribute.

The surprising thing is not that Representative Wilson, a known Trump-basher, would make such a preposterous inference, but that the national media would run with it as tantamount to a political scandal, not implicating Wilson, but instead Trump.  It was the major story on the national broadcast, print, and cable news outlets, particularly so with NBC and CNN.  Obviously, Donald Trump was praising the young soldier’s selfless heroism in his personal outreach to the family.  But for the traditional news sources to position it as a Trump scandal is laughable.  Is it any wonder that most people simply don’t believe them anymore?

President Lincoln taught us that you can’t fool all the people all the time.  LincolnEveryday citizens aren’t stupid and can see through the hysterical attempts by the media to spin harmless events into anti-Trump tirades.  The notoriously left media is both incensed at the president’s unexpected and unwelcome thrashing of liberal darling Hillary Clinton and outraged at the charges of “fake news” by the president, which stings all the more because they are true.

The media is in a bed of their of making with most people either convinced of or still wavering as to their deceit.  For our money, it couldn’t be happening to a more deserving group of people.

Fake News CNN

CNN Goes Commando: National Enquirer Style

 

enquirer.jpgYou gotta’ love The National Enquirer, you know—the sleazy tabloid found near grocery checkouts that your mother used to glance at when she thought no one was looking?  It was as nutty as it was outrageous.  Here are a few of their iconic headlines:

 

Supreme Court Justice Scalia—Murdered by a Hooker (May 2016)

DEA Sting! Jeb Bush Snorted Cocaine on Night Dad Became Pres (Feb. 2016)

Rita Hayworth says…”I’m back from the dead: two years a Zombie” (Dec. 1968)

Cosby had Son Murdered (October 2015)

Like your goofy Uncle Barney’s outlandish stories he weaves after a few toddies, the attention-grabbing premises—built on the tiniest grains of truth—are too scurrilous to resist.

CNN Anti Trump

But now the venerable Enquirer has some competition.  In the face of falling ratings, CNN has adopted an Enquirer-like disregard for realism, spinning every story possible with an “ain’t Trump awful” twist to appeal to the side of liberals that desperately wants to believe the silly articles.  Here are a few headlines from or about CNN:

 

“Donald Trump’s 57 Most Outrageous Quotes” (CNN Aug. 2017)

“Donald Trump’s last 7 days are just mind-bogglingly bad” (CNN Sept. 2017)

”CNN Faces Backlash over Doctored Trump Video” (CNBC July 2017)

Fake News CNNThese are just a few recent ones.  And if you think I’m overreacting, scholars at the notoriously liberal Harvard conducted a study of news coverage about Donald Trump.  They found CNN stories about the president were negative 93% of the time, the worst of any outlet studied.  The Washington Examiner (May 2017) said of the study

“..coverage was so negative it is hard to argue it was anywhere near neutral…CNN’s Trump coverage was 93% negative..negative stories outpaced positive by 13-1”

Hey, but maybe you think CNN’s exaggerated anti-Trump spin is just good business.  If so, you’d be wrong.  During the study period, CNN continued to have weak ratings.  According to TVNewser (adweek), a website devoted to covering media developments, CNN was only 8th among cable news programs, while Fox News easily held the Number One spot.

Fake News 8So is there a lesson here?  Maybe it’s if your theory is “sell the sizzle, not the steak” in news coverage, at least make sure there’s a real steak there.  Otherwise, you might just go hungry—at least TV viewer-wise.

2018 JOURNALISM AWARDS ANNOUNCED

Award Show CNN

It’s well known that journalists and their cozy industry organizations fall all over themselves giving each other pointless awards.  Winning them is a big driver for what and how news is covered.  HardWired News has obtained an exclusive preview of the award categories and their standards for the upcoming year.

2018 Journalism Awards

CNN Award for ExcellenceFake News CNN

               best story bashing Trump 

CBS “Ceebies” for Outstanding Reporting

best on-air reporter who only covers Trump stories that can be spun negatively

Broadcast Journalists Organization

 longest consecutive timeline mentioning nothing favorable about Trump or his administration 

Best Fantasy Journalism Awards

 for the reporters who publish the best and/or most unsubstantiated and baseless stories about Trump and Russian collusion, because they so desperately want it to be true (1st, 2nd, 3rd…100th prizes) 

National Organization for Women: Courage in Feminism Writing Award

best articles bashing Melania and Ivanka Trump or their children, and pretending to be pro-women 

Television Late-Night Comedy Patriotism TrophyColbert Cropped

most foul names, crude jokes, and offensive skits about POTUS 

The Pullitzer Prize for Journalistic Excellence

               no standards, just best Trump bashing 

The field is large, the competition fierce.  I can’t wait to see the gala award shows on TV!

Fake Newsrooms Stand Ready for Any Developments

CNN Anchor
Missing

Did you notice that over this past holiday weekend, all our favorite news reporters were nowhere to be found?  They were enjoying the long weekend, and putting in the third-string wannabees to take their places.  And on these holiday forays where reporters are AWOL, no news seems to occur except the occasional thing that simply can’t be ignored, like North Korea’s nuclear blast.  Then when the regulars have returned to their desks, the stories flood the airwaves and news pages.  How do they get them ready so quickly?

HardWired News has learned how.  The reporters write various stories for every contingency before they leave Fake News CNN.  Then when they return, they simply air the one that most fits the bill.  Here is a sampling we have uncovered.

CNN:  If we respond militarily to NOKO

TRUMP ATTACKS NORTH KOREA WITHOUT PROVOCATION

Unhinged President Plunges U.S. Needlessly Into War

           If we don’t respond militarily

TRUMPS RUNS FROM NORTH KOREA

Cowardly President Emboldens Enemy, Puts America at Risk

 

VOGUE:  If Melania Trump wears high heels again to visit flood victims

FIRST LADY INSENSITIVE TO SUFFERING FLOOD VICTIMS

High Fashion Visit Is All About HER

                If she wears tennis shoes

MELANIA TRUMP INSULTS HURRICANE SUFFERERS

“Slumming” Attire a Slap in the Face to Victims

 

NY Times:  If Trump halts DACA safe-haven program for juvenile illegal aliens

TRUMP SAVAGES LATINO CHILDREN FOR POLITICAL GAIN

Sacrifices Kids, Families to Appeal to His Racist Base

                    If he continues the DACA program

TRUMP RETREATS FROM KEY CAMPAIGN PLEDGE

Shows His Dishonesty – Will Say Anything to Get Elected

MSNBCAnd on and on and on for every potential eventually.  It’s good to see our hard working, dispassionate, fair, unbiased press (oh, hell…we all know they aren’t) are always ready to bring us the news.  Unfair and unbalanced.

Trump Slams Fat People

The Daily Echo JPG LOGO COLOR

TRUMP ATTACKS FAT PEOPLE

Calls for Their “Final Elimination”

by Noj Mocsab, Aug. 14, 2017 (NYT/AP)

Speaking to an assembly of supporters in West Virginia over the weekend, Donald Trump disparaged “fat” people, calling them worthless and announcing efforts to identify and eliminate them.

Trump Angry
Fat Hater

“Fat in government will no longer be tolerated,” he told the gathering of cheering supporters who are self-described “Deplorables.”  “It must be identified, weeded out and permanently eliminated.  It has been tolerated too long.”

Democrat Senator and Minority Leader Chuck Schumer noted that there have long been civil servants with all body types, including those with a BMI (body mass index) above the medically recommended ideal.  “We all know what Trump meant,” commented Schumer.  “The persecution and liquidation of heavy-set people in America has long been Donald Trump’s goal.  He is starting with federal employees, but the roundups and executions will not stop there.”

Multiple anonymous officials confirm that Trump is a racist, misogynist, and mean to puppies.  These sources confirm he is planning to call up the National Guard to ferret out fat people.

White House operatives immediately tried to walk the comments back, insisting he was referring to “fat” in the sense of excess government spending, and not in regards to actual people.  “No one’s buying that garbage,” House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said during a press briefing.  “I’m just glad I’m skinny.” (Ed. note: technically she’s not skinny)

California Representative Adam Schiff (@goofyadamschiff) said the comments were one more piece of proof that the president colluded with Russia to steal the election.

Trump spokesperson Sarah Huckabee Sanders insisted these reports were “fake news” designed to denigrate and humiliate the president so his administration could not be effective, and the Democrats will have a better chance of political success in the midterm elections.  “That would be great,” acknowledged Jake Tapper of CNN, “but this is the kind of hard-hitting, factual reporting people expect from us.  These ‘fake’ claims are paranoia.”

 (comments should be directed to maydupnoos@tde.org)

http://www.thisisamadeupstory.com

University of California to Invest in Bayonet Training Center

New-York-Times-LogoUC Berkeley To Build “Resist” Training Center

Combination Federal/State Funds For Bayonet Facility

by Noj Mocsab, August 1, 2017 (NYT/AP).

The chancellor of the University of California at Berkeley announced today that a new bayonet training facility will be built on the main campus central quadrangle.  The realistic simulation environment will include target “crash” type dummies like those used for testing cars, with images of prominent conservative and especially pro-Trump figures applied to their faces.  Students and participating faculty will walk through an enclosed course where the targets pop up randomly.  They are then to be bayoneted, upon which the participant will proceed to the next station and stab another conservative dummy.

UC Berkley riots 2
Peace & Kindness Rally

Recent Berkeley campus visits by conservative speakers or other advocates have been met with mace, beatings, punches and stun grenades.  “We will not allow these conservative haters to use our campus as a platform for their repugnant ideas,” said an anonymous student leader of the campus Tolerance & Kindness Movement.  “We insist on kindness, tolerance, and love according to our definition, or we’ll beat your head in,” she added.

Bayonette dummies
UC Berkeley Student Training

“The University takes pride in its record of activism in promoting peace, kindness, and tolerance,” said Chancellor Marion Joyless.  She described the new bayoneting facility as a moderate first-step approach to training for enlightened activists.  “Some thought we should capture actual conservatives in raids on backwater holdout counties such as Colusa or Kern that voted Trump and bring back live targets for use in training,” Joyless said.  “While it would admittedly be more fun and draw more participation, I think the use of simulated conservatives, the dummies, is a more realistic start.”

The Trump administration’s efforts to block the use of federal funds for the bayonet training center have been ruled unconstitutional by the Ninth Circuit Court.  Work is expected to be completed by the fall term.

 

 (comments should be directed to maydupnoos@nyt.org)

http://www.thisisamadeupstory.com

 

Why Journalists Bash Trump Now Revealed!

jake-tapper-halpert-face-1476904566-compressedEveryone realizes that most journalists routinely denigrate President Donald Trump, negatively spinning everything from handshakes with foreign leaders to his business dealings, while ignoring or trashing his accomplishments.

Polls

Well, The Gallop Polls organization recently conducted an extensive, scientifically sound survey of mainstream journalists regarding their reporting on Donald Trump.  These are the top ten reasons they gave for the tone of their coverage of him:

 

 

Top Ten Reasons Journalists Bash Trump

10 It feels so good

9  Increases ratings

8  He’s probably doing bad things, even if I can’t prove it

7  If I don’t stand up to this moron, who’s going to

6  Win awards from other biased journalism organizations

5  Be perceived as courageous

4  People who don’t believe as I do are evil, especially Trump

3  It’s no fun pretending to be unbiased anymore – let it all hang out!

2  Getting even for his Tweets about Fake News

And the Number One Reason journalists bash Trump:

1  I’m just so really, really pissed he won

Thank goodness we FINALLY have a rational explanation for our mainstream news coverage!