Top Ten Ways to Know Hillary Clinton is Running for President in 2020

What Happened 2Hillary Clinton has been busy making public appearances ostensibly promoting her new book, What Happened, a list of pathetic excuses for her 2016 election loss to Donald Trump.  HardWired News opined that it was simply a money-play (How to Tell Hillary Clinton Loves Money…).  But some pundits claim her appearances sound more like political positioning for another run at the White House.

Recall that first she tested the waters unsuccessfully against the ultimate Democrat gore.jpgnominee Al “I invented the Internet” Gore in 2000, and again struck out as her party’s nominee in 2004 when John “Mr. Excitement” Kerry ran against Bush II.  Then in 2008 the self-proclaimed heir-apparent-to-greatness lost in a trouncing to unaccomplished newcomer Barack Obama.  Most famously, she took a woodshed beating from our current Commander-in-Chief, quirky Donald Trump in her 2016 failed attempt.

But now she is sounding candidate-like again, with posturing on national policy questions and assuming the role of denouncer of our sitting president.  So how can we really know if she is preparing for yet another run?

HardWired News has discovered the Top Ten Ways to know if Hilarity is planning another presidential run in 2020.  They are…

10  Publicly came out in support of “taking a knee” by NFL players during our National Anthem, another doofus move unpopular with mainstream voters just like her previous campaign positions

 9 Wrote a humiliating book, What Happened, trying to convince herself that she now knows how to fix what went wrong

 8 Sees that the ineffective Republicans, in control of Congress and the White House, are so hapless in trying to get anything done they couldn’t elect a dogcatcher in 2020

 7  Taking “Tweeting” lessons to out-Tweet the Tweeter-in-Chief

 6 Recently added twenty new pantsuits to her wardrobe

 5 Signed up for charm school

 4 Bought a fifty-five gallon drum of industrial strength No-Doze pills so she can stay awake long enough to campaign in the swing states she ignored and lost the last time

 weiner3 Mastering social media technology by commissioning Anthony Weiner, former husband of her closest advisor Huma Abedin, to teach her the fine art of Snap Chatting photos

 2 Had longtime pal Harvey Weinstein recruit ten thousand Hollywood extras to pack her events and make it look like she is popular in return for undisclosed favors

And the Number One Way to Know Hillary Clinton is Running Again

clinto-bill-tight-lipped.jpg

 1 Had husband Bill Clinton’s mouth and one other undisclosed aperture surgically sewn up so they can’t humiliate her again

Can’t wait to see Hillary where she rightfully belongs (insert your preferred destination here…)

How to Tell that Hillary Clinton Loves Money Above All Else

What Happened 3In a recent HardWired News article (Hillary’s Blame Game – September 8) we opined she was writing her latest and most personally embarrassing book, What Happened, not to exonerate herself, but simply to make money.  But how can we really know if she cares more about money than her reputation?

Well, HardWired News has figured it out.  Here are the…

Top Ten Ways to Know That Hillary Clinton Cares More About Money Than Her Reputation, Public Service, or Just About Anything Else

10  Worked for a law firm that solicited huge legal fees (in which she shared) representinghillary-laughing.jpg people with lucrative business before the state of Arkansas while her husband is governor

9  Accepted EXACTLY $100,000 in options trading (something she never did before or since) profits from a broker who kept “poor” records and was an operative of a large company lobbying for a lucrative bill in the Arkansas legislature, which her husband, the governor, then promptly signed into law

8  Accused of secretly investing in and soliciting loans for the speculative White Waterwhite-water.jpg real estate development scheme in Arkansas that contributed to the defrauding of investors and a failure of a financial institution while she was First Lady and her husband Governor of Arkansas

7  Entered the White House as First Lady in 1992 reportedly “dead broke”, then announced a net worth of over one hundred million dollars following years of service as a senator and secretary of state

Created a massive charity that funds much of her travel, salaries for her minions,  andClinton Global Initiative expands her personal influence, then granted official government access and favors selectively to those who made large (megamillions) donations

5  Leveraged her public service experiences by writing two memoirs (before this recent one) involving huge advances, book tours and millions in royalties, then used the resulting publicity to launch a presidential campaign

4  While Secretary of State, had her husband’s speaking fees from those with business pending before her office doubledHillary & Wall Street

3  Charged her own massive speaking fees for secret addresses to Wall Street bankers outlining her political promises to them, then ran for president with their full financial and political support on a (wink-wink) anti-business platform

2  In contravention of a legal order, deleted 30,000 “personal” emails that could shed light on her questionable financial dealings from the server used for her official government business

And the number one way we can tell if Hillary Clinton cares most about money…

 1  Wrote a humiliating book portraying herself for all of posterity as a delusional, classless crybaby-loser, but makes a load of dough in the process

Hillary’s Blame Game

What Happened 2Hillary Clinton’s new book of excuses for losing the election, What Happened, will soon be available to readers.  That hasn’t stopped commentary on leaked—intentionally or otherwise—passages from making it into the news.

The coverage has been intense and will likely increase upon the book’s actual release on September 12.  So HardWired News won’t repeat all of what has already been reported or is likely to be in the days ahead.  From what we’ve seen, the amazing thing is simply that Hillary continues to blame everyone but herself.  Oh, there’s the soft disclaimer along the lines of sure, I guess I share some of the blame.  But most of the recrimination is directed at others.  That alone is not surprising, given Mrs. Clinton’s penchant for finger pointing and denial.  But what I found amazing is that she blames Democrats, women and the Washington establishment more than she does Donald Trump or the Republicans.  Here are a few gems taken from Fox News coverage of the pre-release.

Bernie Sanders for running a spirited campaign

“resorting to innuendo and impugning my character” and comparing him to a “deranged hitchhiker”

Sanders’ goal was not “to make sure a Democrat won the White House, he got in to disrupt the Democratic Party.”

President Obama for protecting Sanders

“(Obama) warned…not to ‘hit back against Bernie’s attacks’ because they ‘didn’t want to alienate Bernie’s supporters’ “

Joe Biden

For saying Hillary’s message “did not talk about what (Democrats) always stood for — and that was how to maintain a burgeoning middle class”

FBI Director James Comey on the email scandal investigation

“…Comey had badly overstepped his bounds…”

Her own campaign staff

“My team raised concerns (about confronting Comey publicly)…In the end, we decided it would be better to just let it go and try to move on. Looking back, that (her team’s advice) was a mistake.”

Vladimir Putin

Saying he was on a “personal vendetta” against her

The pollsters

Claiming she was a “victim” of being considered a “sure-thing”, thereby keeping many of her supporters from turning out

Perhaps most amazing of all, WOMEN

“One would think that the first female presidential nominee would keep solidarity with her fellow women, especially after thousands of them marched in opposition to Trump shortly after his inauguration…where (were) those feelings of solidarity, outrage and passion during the election?”

And finally, uber-liberal NBC personality and lapdog interviewer Matt Lauer

“Lauer was supposed to focus his questioning on my (Clinton’s) stances on foreign policy, but instead immediately brought up the email scandal…’Now I was ticked off. NBC knew exactly what it was doing here. The network was treating this like an episode of The Apprentice in which…Trump stars and ratings soar…Lauer turned what should have been a serious discussion into a pointless ambush.’”

Yep, there’s barely a mention of Trump or the Republicans.  The tell-all book Shattered, Shatteredan inside look at her doomed campaign, paints a much different picture of an unlikable candidate with no resonating message and a well-earned reputation for sleaziness.  And leaders of her own party are growing weary of her bawling tantrum over her loss.  Recently Democrat Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer was quoted as saying

“When you lose to somebody who has 40% popularity, you don’t blame other things — Comey, Russia — you blame yourself.”

Monopoly Money Man
Clinton

My own view is she doesn’t care as much about exonerating herself as she does about making money on this book, a thing at which she has proven very good in the past.  Afterall, the money chase is what the Clintons have always been about.  If you voted for somebody other than Hillary last November, congratulate yourself.  Nobody wants a crybaby loser for a president.  Personally, I’m happier with Donald Trump, warts and all.

Hillary Clinton’s Top Ten Reasons for Losing the Election

crazy-hillaryRemember when Hillary Clinton was going around giving speeches and appearing on TV, telling everyone why she lost and who was to blame (certainly not HER).  Well, Hardwired News research department has analyzed all of her public statements and identified the top ten reasons Hillary Clinton gave for losing the election.  Here you go:

Hillary Excuses 2

Top Ten Reasons Hillary Actually Gave for Losing the Election: 

10 The Russians were supposed to help ME, dammit 

9  That pink pantsuit made my a** look fat 

8  Bill’s drooling, stammering and slack-jawed leering on the trail were a distraction (should have divorced him 20 years ago) 

7  The polls were wrong, at least the ones I believed 

6  Staff forgot to tell me I had to appeal to actual mainstream voters 

5  Too tired from fundraisers to campaign in swing states 

4  Federal Election Commission unfairly and illegally allowed my lifetime of lying, scamming, and money grubbing to be used against me

3  Vote rigging was botched allowing actual election returns to be used 

2  Did I mention the outrageous persecution over my secret server and illegally deleted e-mails 

And the Number One Reason why Hillary Clinton lost the election:

1  Okay, okay—voters actually preferred whacky Donald Trump to me

At last we know what the heck really went wrong!